Fuck The Laundry!

For some stupid reason, I had yesterday off work and I was determined to spend my day being lazy. Jennifer left a basket of clothes on the couch when she went to work; she probably thought I’d do what I usually do and fold them. I didn’t, but I wasn’t a total bum…  I just added two more loads to the basket until it just looked like a pile of clean laundry on the couch. That was yesterday. Jennifer is at work and the pile remains! I even added to it, a small load of my tee-shirts and underwear.

Laundry
Oops, some a-hole decided he wasn’t going to fold the laundry!

I’m kind of a weird fucker, sometimes; there are a couple things in the area of housekeeping that I hate… Folding clothes is number two on that list proceeded only by putting clean dishes away. I don’t mind washing a pile of dishes the size of a Volkswagen Bug, but when it comes to putting that shit away, you can count me out!

It isn’t that I am actually lazy. With the exception of my “corner clothes”, I am generally pretty good about cleaning up after myself. Sometimes I’d just rather spend my time being productive in other ways. I’ve been looking for reasons to do a some baking, so today I decided to bake a batch of Cinnamon Rolls for Jaxon’s Band Camp dessert potluck.

Dough
It has risen… Now it’s time for the beat down!

My recipe for Cinnamon rolls makes twenty-four rolls; three times what we need to bring, tonight. Since I ended up with a surplus of dough, I decided to try out a couple new recipes… I’ve been wanting to try Cardamom Rolls and a Cinnamon/Cardamom Roll, so today is the day for recipe-tweaking!

Filling
The three fillings… Cardamom, Cinnamon/Cardamom, and Cinnamon.

Tangent…

As I was preparing to make rolls, Jaxon came out and informed me that he didn’t have a pair of black shorts for rehearsal. Talk about throwing a wrench in the works! I told him to take a quick shower so we could head over to Fred Meyer to get him a pair of shorts and some black socks (his list is growing). Jaxon has no idea what it means to take a “quick” shower. Either that or he just doesn’t like to waste hot water, so he uses every last drop of it before he get’s out of the shower…

Thirty minutes after he got in the shower, we’re hauling ass across town for the necessary clothes. Freddy’s literally had only one pair of shorts that would fit this kid! We’re in a hurry and the only person that I could find to open the fitting room has the temperament of Oscar The Grouch and moved like molasses. I hate it when I have to deal with people like that when I’m in a position of setting a good example!

Anyway, we were able to stay on task and made it home in time to make his lunch while he changed. I was able to get him to practice on time, which is 15 minutes early. I then had to run home to grab him a white tee-shirt and get back to the school with a minute to spare!

Rising
30-45 minutes to rise before baking.
Ovenready
The Cardamom/Cinnamon Rolls (center) look like they’ll turn out prettier than the rest; especially the ugly-ass Cinnamon Rolls on the right!

I’m pretty bummed about the ugliness of the Cinnamon Rolls! Under normal circumstances, I’d throw those out before anyone saw them and make another batch. Since I have no idea how the experimental recipes are going to turn out, I have no choice but serve ugly rolls to total strangers. Talk about embarrassing!

The only thing I don’t really mind serving ugly is my Chocolate Coffee Cake. No matter how hard I try, that cake always looks like a pile of cow shit that’s been scraped up, dried out, and frosted! Even though it looks like a half blind spastic 2nd grader went all ape-shit making mud pies, it tastes like a caffeinated chocolate orgasm!

cooked
Perfect timing! The rolls literally came out of the oven as Jennifer was walking in the door!

Three trips to the grocery store before actually getting started on the rolls, and I still forgot to get eggs! Luckily there’s an awesome couple that lives on the bottom floor… With the promise of one roll of each flavor, I was able to get the required eggs without going back to the store.

jen
Laundry/Jen comparison

So the pile of laundry is massive compared to Jennifer.  She sat down on the couch with her computer and phone to do her books and doesn’t seem to notice the laundry towering above her. As long as she doesn’t say anything about it, I am going to maintain my attitude of, “fuck the laundry” until someone else takes care of it!

Y’all have a great Labor Day!

 

Damn Good Cinnamon Rolls

Filling:

Icing:

Note: You can add to the ingredients to make extra icing. Drizzle over rolls as desired then set the remaining icing aside in case someone wants more.

Directions

  1. Combine potatoes, potato water, butter, sugar, salt and hot water in large mixing bowl. Stir until butter melts; set aside and let cool. Combine yeast and 1/2 cup warm water in small bowl. Wait about 5 minutes before adding… eggs, 2 cups flour and yeast mixture to potato mixture. Beat until well mixed. Add flour, 1 cup at a time until soft dough forms.
  2. Knead by hand on a lightly floured surface until smooth and stretchy, (If using electric mixer, be sure to use a dough hook). 
  3. Let rise in a warm, draft free area until doubled in size (about 1hr). Punch dough down; divide in half (for easier handling).
  4. Roll one portion of dough on a lightly floured surface to a 12 x 18-inch rectangle. Spread with half the butter. Combine sugar and cinnamon; sprinkle half of the mixture over surface. Roll up tightly lengthwise, sealing edges. Cut into 12 slices. Place in lightly greased 12X16-inch pan. 
  5. Let rise 30 to 45 minutes until nearly doubled.
  6. Bake @ 350 degrees F for 25 to 30 minutes.Rolls
  7. Cool for 15 minutes. Combine icing ingredients and drizzle over rolls.
 Note: 2 medium potatoes yields about 1 cup (I generally use 3-4 potatoes just in case… and I love mashed potatoes).

Bridging The gap (Previous Post)

It’s hard to believe that It’s already been nearly seven years since I wrote this. I’m going to leave it as it was written way back in the day, but I will do a follow up sometime in the near future, to see how far I’ve come.

This time last year, I was your stereotypical Alaskan outdoorsman, but I’ve often wondered if I had what it takes to bridge the gap to “city boy”.

I grew up in the outdoors, hunting, fishing, and trapping.  When it comes to the outdoors, there isn’t much I can’t handle.  My life has been spent studying wildlife: their habits, tracks, what they eat, and their sounds.

I have been in survival situations in the middle of winter, in Alaska on more than one occasion.  I’ve had to live off the land for several days while on a camping trip in the mountains of Northern Oregon, when I was about fourteen.  I have been charged by a Grizzly Bear twice, a moose once, and I’ve been face to face with a pack of wolves at less than fifty feet.  I’ve fallen off a cliff while on a bear hunt, tumbled down a mountain while hunting goats, and nearly drown after capsizing a canoe in a river at flood stage.  Oh, and I once broke through the ice on a frozen river at twenty below zero!

I know what it’s like to be in situations that have made me wonder whether or not I am going to live or die.  I know all about being scared, yet understanding the necessity to remain calm.  It’s in times like those, that put your skills and preparation to the test.  As I look back at a couple situations that I made it out of by the skin of my teeth, I wonder “How in God’s name did I make it out of that?”.

I certainly haven’t done it all, when it comes to the great outdoors.  I still have a lot to learn, animals to hunt, mountains to tame, and adventures to experience.  I’ve been dreaming of hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, for nearly two decades.  An elk hunt with my son, in the Rocky Mountains would be a dream come true.

Quite honestly, I have lead a somewhat sheltered life.  I’ve never been around people of different sexual orientation and openly display it.  I have never had much of a chance to get to know anyone that had different political views from that of my own, and felt strongly about them.  Although my family wasn’t particularly prejudice, I was not raised to be tolerant of people because of differences in color, religion, or political background.  About the only people that I didn’t look down on were the poor.

My family didn’t have much money, so that wasn’t an issue.  As far as I know, there was only one black family in town, so that never came up, either.  As far as gay goes, in the part of California that I grew up in, you just don’t do that!  My family wasn’t the least bit religious, so…  Pretty much, almost everyone, everywhere that I have ever lived, was pretty much the same.  When you grow up in an area that has little or no diversity, it leads to ignorance.  Generally speaking, people tend to reject what they don’t understand.  I’m just as guilty of it as anyone.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated by life in the city, but my path took me in a different direction.  I really never knew or understood the inner workings of city life: the cultures, the fast pace, or all the people, but I knew that there was something about it that made me want to learn more.

I’ve been to Los Angeles a couple times when I was younger, and I found it somewhat intimidating.  Seattle was always a treat for me, and I’ll always remember my first trip to Pike Place Market…  A good friend and I ended up in a porn shop (we were thirteen)! What an experience.

In the last year, I’ve traded my hunting boots for a pair of asics running shoes, my Carharts for True Religion jeans, and traded the Alaskan wilderness for the concrete jungle of the Portland suburbs.  Who I am hasn’t changed, I’m still the same ‘ol me.  I still have a longing to be outdoors, and an adventurous spirt, but the nature of the adventure has changed, for the time being.  I’ve just put my life as a hunter, trapper, and fisherman on the back burner for a while, so I can broaden my experience.

Last January, I made the most drastic move of my life.  I loaded up everything that I had (it all fit in a Saturn Vue) and headed south.  Destination, Beaverton, Oregon.  I was stepping outside of my comfort zone for the first time in my life.  I was leaving everything I had ever known, for a life that was totally unknown.

Now instead of hiking in the mountains with a rifle, I go running along the city streets and paved trails.  There are a few squirrels that live in the trees near our apartment complex, that’s a far cry from moose and bears in the back yard.  About a mile from home there is a small wetland area that has a fence around it.  On the fence, there’s a sign that says, “DO NOT FEED WILDLIFE”.  Inside the fence, there used to be a couple nutria that would hang out and watch the people watch them eat..  I say, “used to be”, because apparently the grass was greener on the other side of the road.  They never found out if that was true or not, they were both killed trying to cross the road.

One of the coolest things that I was able to do while I was down there for the winter, was to go to the salon that my wife works in and dye her hair.  Now that was something out of the ordinary for me, but I loved it!

Jen and I went to a church one Sunday, where the congregation was predominately black, which is something that I’ve always wanted to do.  It was everything that I imagined that it would be.  The singing was amazing.  The preaching, phenomenal! The people were beautiful and friendly.  As I thought of the way I used to think, I was ashamed!

There were times that I was around people that were openly gay, which is something that I was raised to believe was WRONG.  It took some getting used to, but I have come to accept and respect them for who they are and how they believe.  Who am I to judge them, for the way that they choose to live their lives? The way they live doesn’t affect me, in the least, and no one’s asking me to join them.

I bought a pair of True Religion jeans for $275.00! WTF? There’s a buddha on the pocket, for crying out loud.  I’m sure that’s some sort of taboo, for a (practicing) Christian.  Oh, I almost forgot to mention the $130.00 shirt that Jen bought to go with those pants…  $405.00 for a shirt and a pair of jeans? If I weren’t a “free-baller, and if I had to pay for my sick ass cowboy boots, my wedding duds would have topped the $500.00 mark! Holy Hell!  I can justify it, because they were for our wedding.  Besides, when I saw the look on Jen’s face when I walked out of the dressing room, I knew that those were the right pants to be wearing as I carried her across the threshold, after the wedding!

There are still a lot of things that I need and want to experience, in the city.  I’d love to go see a ballet.  The opera has always been on my list of things to do.  I’d love to do it “proper like”, in a Tuxedo, Jen in a beautiful evening gown.  Who knows, maybe one day I’ll go volunteer in a soup kitchen.

By letting go of (some) of my closed mindedness, and working on being more tolerant and less judgmental of others, I have learned a lot about what it takes to truly accept others for who they really are.  It isn’t fair for me to expect someone else to conform to the way I believe that my life should be lived.

I guess in my mind, I proved that I have what it takes to live in both worlds, the city and the country.  The more important issue here is that the biggest gap that needed to be bridged was the great expanse between how I treated people that I understood, versus the way I viewed those that I didn’t.

Living in the city taught me a great deal about the person that I thought I was, and the person that I truly am.  I have a lot to learn, and a long way to go, until I am living up to the full potential of the person that I can be.  I don’t know if I will ever live up to that potential, but I WILL TRY!

Stay tuned for the follow up to this post…

Bridging The gap

So I decided to name my new Blog after a Post that I made several years ago, in my old Blog. I think as time goes on and I make more posts, it will prove to be appropriately named. The content that I use for this Blog will ultimately be used as a basis for another project that I have in mind, but that will come later.

My intent with this Blog is to compile as many of my random thoughts and life experiences in to one place so that others might be able to learn from what I have learned. I am also hoping to get a lot of feedback in the form of comments and or questions that will help with ideas for future posts.

As with most of my writing, I need to get the “DISCLAIMER” out of the way… If your are the least bit easily offended, you might be wise to turn away now and don’t look back. There will be bad language. There will be talk about sex. There will be stuff said that is completely inappropriate and far from politically correct. The bottom line is, if you’re going to be all butt hurt over language, sex, crude jokes, and occasionally making fun of people who don’t like the aforementioned topics, you can leave now!

Not everything that I talk about will be offensive. I plan to post about things like chivalry, math (yup!), cooking, my desire to have a pet midget, and how to spice up basic ordinary life. How to treat a lady will be a common topic here; as I observe young guys around town, I am in total disbelief at the way they treat women in general.

My next couple posts will be posts that were previously published, but I feel they’ll give a little background and enable a good foundation for where I want this to go.

I haven’t really landed on a frequency or format, but I am going to try to get at least one actual post and one recipe per week. I’m going to start out kind of tame- like foreplay. As time goes on, we’ll get in to the juicy do’n it on the kitchen table kind of content.

Again, if you’re easily offended, just move along. I don’t want to traumatize the prudish sensitive types. Don’t forget to add your two cents for content requests.

Go get some!