Fuck The Laundry!

For some stupid reason, I had yesterday off work and I was determined to spend my day being lazy. Jennifer left a basket of clothes on the couch when she went to work; she probably thought I’d do what I usually do and fold them. I didn’t, but I wasn’t a total bum…  I just added two more loads to the basket until it just looked like a pile of clean laundry on the couch. That was yesterday. Jennifer is at work and the pile remains! I even added to it, a small load of my tee-shirts and underwear.

Laundry
Oops, some a-hole decided he wasn’t going to fold the laundry!

I’m kind of a weird fucker, sometimes; there are a couple things in the area of housekeeping that I hate… Folding clothes is number two on that list proceeded only by putting clean dishes away. I don’t mind washing a pile of dishes the size of a Volkswagen Bug, but when it comes to putting that shit away, you can count me out!

It isn’t that I am actually lazy. With the exception of my “corner clothes”, I am generally pretty good about cleaning up after myself. Sometimes I’d just rather spend my time being productive in other ways. I’ve been looking for reasons to do a some baking, so today I decided to bake a batch of Cinnamon Rolls for Jaxon’s Band Camp dessert potluck.

Dough
It has risen… Now it’s time for the beat down!

My recipe for Cinnamon rolls makes twenty-four rolls; three times what we need to bring, tonight. Since I ended up with a surplus of dough, I decided to try out a couple new recipes… I’ve been wanting to try Cardamom Rolls and a Cinnamon/Cardamom Roll, so today is the day for recipe-tweaking!

Filling
The three fillings… Cardamom, Cinnamon/Cardamom, and Cinnamon.

Tangent…

As I was preparing to make rolls, Jaxon came out and informed me that he didn’t have a pair of black shorts for rehearsal. Talk about throwing a wrench in the works! I told him to take a quick shower so we could head over to Fred Meyer to get him a pair of shorts and some black socks (his list is growing). Jaxon has no idea what it means to take a “quick” shower. Either that or he just doesn’t like to waste hot water, so he uses every last drop of it before he get’s out of the shower…

Thirty minutes after he got in the shower, we’re hauling ass across town for the necessary clothes. Freddy’s literally had only one pair of shorts that would fit this kid! We’re in a hurry and the only person that I could find to open the fitting room has the temperament of Oscar The Grouch and moved like molasses. I hate it when I have to deal with people like that when I’m in a position of setting a good example!

Anyway, we were able to stay on task and made it home in time to make his lunch while he changed. I was able to get him to practice on time, which is 15 minutes early. I then had to run home to grab him a white tee-shirt and get back to the school with a minute to spare!

Rising
30-45 minutes to rise before baking.
Ovenready
The Cardamom/Cinnamon Rolls (center) look like they’ll turn out prettier than the rest; especially the ugly-ass Cinnamon Rolls on the right!

I’m pretty bummed about the ugliness of the Cinnamon Rolls! Under normal circumstances, I’d throw those out before anyone saw them and make another batch. Since I have no idea how the experimental recipes are going to turn out, I have no choice but serve ugly rolls to total strangers. Talk about embarrassing!

The only thing I don’t really mind serving ugly is my Chocolate Coffee Cake. No matter how hard I try, that cake always looks like a pile of cow shit that’s been scraped up, dried out, and frosted! Even though it looks like a half blind spastic 2nd grader went all ape-shit making mud pies, it tastes like a caffeinated chocolate orgasm!

cooked
Perfect timing! The rolls literally came out of the oven as Jennifer was walking in the door!

Three trips to the grocery store before actually getting started on the rolls, and I still forgot to get eggs! Luckily there’s an awesome couple that lives on the bottom floor… With the promise of one roll of each flavor, I was able to get the required eggs without going back to the store.

jen
Laundry/Jen comparison

So the pile of laundry is massive compared to Jennifer.  She sat down on the couch with her computer and phone to do her books and doesn’t seem to notice the laundry towering above her. As long as she doesn’t say anything about it, I am going to maintain my attitude of, “fuck the laundry” until someone else takes care of it!

Y’all have a great Labor Day!

 

Bridging The gap

So I decided to name my new Blog after a Post that I made several years ago, in my old Blog. I think as time goes on and I make more posts, it will prove to be appropriately named. The content that I use for this Blog will ultimately be used as a basis for another project that I have in mind, but that will come later.

My intent with this Blog is to compile as many of my random thoughts and life experiences in to one place so that others might be able to learn from what I have learned. I am also hoping to get a lot of feedback in the form of comments and or questions that will help with ideas for future posts.

As with most of my writing, I need to get the “DISCLAIMER” out of the way… If your are the least bit easily offended, you might be wise to turn away now and don’t look back. There will be bad language. There will be talk about sex. There will be stuff said that is completely inappropriate and far from politically correct. The bottom line is, if you’re going to be all butt hurt over language, sex, crude jokes, and occasionally making fun of people who don’t like the aforementioned topics, you can leave now!

Not everything that I talk about will be offensive. I plan to post about things like chivalry, math (yup!), cooking, my desire to have a pet midget, and how to spice up basic ordinary life. How to treat a lady will be a common topic here; as I observe young guys around town, I am in total disbelief at the way they treat women in general.

My next couple posts will be posts that were previously published, but I feel they’ll give a little background and enable a good foundation for where I want this to go.

I haven’t really landed on a frequency or format, but I am going to try to get at least one actual post and one recipe per week. I’m going to start out kind of tame- like foreplay. As time goes on, we’ll get in to the juicy do’n it on the kitchen table kind of content.

Again, if you’re easily offended, just move along. I don’t want to traumatize the prudish sensitive types. Don’t forget to add your two cents for content requests.

Go get some!